|
|
| Author: 123456789 |
When dealing with children's education, most parents agree on the fact that authority is the key element that can ensure success. Nevertheless, few things are known about the efficiency of the sources from which authority is born. Some parents suffer from anxiety connected to the loss of authority concerning their own children and then they try to bring as main argument their status as a parent, without taking into account the requirements that derive from this status. At the other extreme, there are parents that do not take their status as a parent very seriously and deprive their children of the authority necessary to their harmonious development.
In both cases, parents should know more about the importance of the authority in education, about the shapes authority may take, and about the effects of these shapes on children's development. A student once said that some of the teachers are so preoccupied with maintaining their authority that they forget the main purpose of their teachingthat of shaping responsible, creative young men with spirit of initiative. Thus, they lose precisely what they wish so much to holdauthority.
God has created for parents the premises of authority towards their children. We should pay attention to what God offered us when He gave us children!
Some of the premises based on which parental authority may be built:
- Children love their parents and look forward to sharing their time, emotions and knowledge with them.
- Until the age of 3-4 years old, children think that their mother and father know and can do everything, which is why they show confidence in them.
- Children need laws and rules that may create limits for them and allow them to understand reality.
- Children need a pattern with which they may identify.
Starting with these premises and without having exhausted them, we could say that a small child attributes to his parent a priori certain authority.
- But will the parent manage to keep the authority God has offered when He created these premises?
- Will the parent use the authority he/she holds in order to produce the positive effects in the child's development?
Shapes parental authority may take:
- The 'superior's' authoritythe authority of the man who, by virtue of the status he/she holds, may give directives.
- The 'expert's' authoritythe authority of the man who knows more than the others.
- The 'model's' authoritythe authority of the man who inspires, at the same time, respect, admiration, love and obedience.
Parental authority cannot be limited only to one of these shapes. The parent may manifest all of them, but in different circumstances and in different degrees. The superior's authority must be used very prudently in certain moments of the child's life and only when the directives are justified.
In other cases, the expert's authority is exercised by virtue of the parent's experience and knowledge in connection to his/her child. Nonetheless, if this type of authority criticizes or humiliates, negative effects and undesirable attitudes are obtained from the child.
The efficiency of the model's authority is fully recognized, and, due to the fact that it is built on affective bases, it is much more durable. This type of authority may unite the other shapes, but the fundament in choosing and building the model is neither the parent's knowledge, nor his/her status, but love and consideration for the child.
Parents know that very young children look up to their parents with admiration, are very proud of their fathers, whom they consider true heroes. They 'borrow' some of their parents' confidence and build their identity little by little, by interiorizing the family's identity components. When the mother is calm and peaceful, the child is also calm. The father's joy is transmitted to the child, and children share the communication between parents. Children need a model with which they may identify, and the parents are there for them, in order to offer them this model.
I remember a fight between two six-year old children, each of them trying to build a good image of himself toward the other. One of the children bragged that his father was strong; that he had just bought a very expensive sportive car that he drove at high speed. The other one, having a modest financial situation, would have wanted to present his father in a favourable light, but he could not find something that would impress his friend. His family did not own a luxury car, and his father was merely a mechanic on immense snow-removing equipment. The child thought for a moment and then, with tears in his eyes, but full of pride, said: 'my father is stronger than yours, he drives a much bigger machine. It is more difficult to drive a tractor than a little car like your father's'. The wish of positive identity determines children to look for the best in their parents.
In their tendency of identifying themselves with their parents, children many times draw conclusions concerning their inheriting their parents' qualities and flows. If parents are perceived as having desirable characteristics, the child is assumed to have one or more of these characteristics as well. Thus, he/she will have more self-confidence. Children whose parents are perceived as being aggressive, unjust in applying punishments or lazy, will feel ashamed because they will assume they own as well some of those negative characteristics. Child's early identification with his/her parents is benefic only when shared values, attitudes and conducts are positive and leave the child the possibility to choose.
The type of authority exercised by parents determines the type of obedience that they will obtain from their children. If the authority of the parent-model is constraining, it will lead to servile obedience. 'Persecuting' parents develop in their children obedience, or, on the contrary, rebellion. The fear for punishment transforms the child from his father's son into his 'slave'. There is as well a type of freeing authority that determines free-will obedience. In this case, the child accepts the rule, the norm, the values, as they ensure his/her development. When the parent-model is over-protective, without having the authority of some clear values and norms, the child is exposed to the risk of becoming a dependent, confused adult, who is susceptible to influence and without initiatives. In this case, the parent does not represent a guide, a safety base for the child, but the image of inconsequence and uncertainty.
All in all, the authority of the parental model is the most efficient form of influencing the child and it has to represent a subtle mix of love, consideration, rules and penaltys, all of them having as a main purpose creating a responsible, creative child, submitted to the Divine Grace. The parent is not a simple arranger of rules any more, but the source of an authority of values, norms, science and love. |
Author Bio:
123456789 is a notable scripter. 123456789 likes to pen down articles about this field. |
| You can search for this article using: single parenting, parenting advice, parenting information, teen parenting, parenting tips |
|
|
 |
| |
Related Articles |
| |
A Potty Training Challenge - Bedwetting
|
| |
Kitchen Pot Racks
|
| |
Wood Mini Blinds
|
| |
The Need for Pet First Aid Kits
|
| |
Remove Carpet Stains - The How To
|
| |
Bed Comforters
|
| |
It's a Sick World
|
| |
Low Cost Kitchen Remodeling
|
| |
Power Washing Aluminum Siding Like A Professional
|
| |
Architect Spa Design Floor Plan - Relax and Chill Out
|
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
| |
| Your home makes its own fashion statement and tells your guests a lot about your personality, likes, ... - John Murray |
| |
| Sharks can be a great addition to any aquarium, but before you add any to your tank, you should make ... - Lee Dobbins |
| |
| One of the fascinating activities in building a model railroad layout is the water scenes. Even with ... - Michael W.P. Ball |
| |
|
|
| |
| Once people realize all of the benefits cedar outdoor garden furniture has to offer, they quickly be ... - Jesse Akre |
| |
| Parents commonly believe, that by recording their children??s fingerprints and DNA information, they ... - Scott Irwin |
| |
|
| |
|
|
