1. Focus on outcomes not problems

Each member of the family needs to understand and communicate what their desired outcome is in any situation. In this way every part of your family team can move toward that objective rather than focus on the reasons why it can not happen.

2. Focus on feedback not failure

When sharing negative information always deliver it in a constructive way. Share how things could be better not how they went wrong.

3. Focus on Possibilities Possibilities are endless

Keep your family looking to the future and not to the past. The future is yet to happen so you have the chance to change it. The past can only be remembered and learned from.

4. Understand roles

Clearly communicate that every part of the family has a role to play. Remember that the roles can and will change. Admit as a parent you dont know it all (at least to yourself). Define your own weakness and supplement them with the help of others.

5. Delegate

Letting go of the belief that the parent must always be the leader is very difficult but must be done. It is important for you as a parent and your children that you recognize that Kids can do stuff. Hand in hand with this you must also learn to Be there when you are there. Too often adults are physically present but disengaged in their childrens activities.

6. Be positive

Set positive goals that the family believes are achievable and worthwhile. It is much easier to move toward something then it is to move away from something. Frequently smile, laugh at yourself, and play with kids and adults just for the joy of it

7. Have clear visions

What do you as a family stand for? What does it mean to be part of the family? Clarify expectations so everyone understands and buys in to them. Be clear on what you need to happen not what you want to happen. When is good enough, enough and when is perfection required?

8. Continue to learn and grow

Things change so change with them. The world is not he same as it was last year or five years ago or ten. So why do your actions and responses have to be the same. People grow and change that is the miracle of our lives. The relationship you have and the role you played in the life of your 2 year old son is different when he is 12 and 20. Anticipate problems that will happen as your family grows and changes and plan your response.

9. Recognize people dont function in a vacuum Communicate - Communicate

Share your ideas from your head and heart. It is just as important for the family to understand each others motivations and intentions. Listen 2 times as much as you talk thats why god gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth.

10. Go after what you want - ACT

Action is better then inaction. Model this behavior and the rest of the family will do the same. Never forget COURAGE is taking action in spite of fear not being fearless.